Finding your inner child
I felt deep in the depths of my being, an unease, a feeling of being lost. I know this feeling serves a purpose. I know through the darkness comes light, I know I have to sit with it and see it; my shadows, my darkness hidden away. Its coming up to be seen in my awareness, to be loved, to be felt! So it can get some innerstanding, so it can transmuted and released. It feels dense, it takes my breathe away. I have to remind myself to be conscious with my breathe, I have to remind myself to pass love and compassion over to my being.
I put my hand on my heart and my belly and I breathe and feed light and love into the density sitting there.
I sit with my unease and agitation. The feeling Inmight explode (and sometimes do!)
The tears are there underneath the; trying to be “strong”, trying to be “grown up”, trying to be mum, wife, teacher and friend. But feeding through them roles I play is me, is my inner child, who needs to be seen, who needs to be heard, who needs to be felt. Who feels lost and vulnerable who needs love, care and understanding. She (the inner child) needs to be heard, she needs me to assist her from being stuck. I reach in and grab her hands, I pull her out into the conscious fields. I feel her pain, her hot tears, her body crumpled into mine. I feel her defeat, her aloneness, her feeling that noone understands her or cares to. And I hold her hard, in my heart, in my arms and I let her know that everything will be OK. I see her, I am here now to be there for her, to help hold her pain, to help her shift the heaviness, I understand her and I am here to support her.
Through my inner wisdom that’s grown with me into my adult years, I help her understand, I help her see it all. We cry, we hold space and together we know and celebrate. We are seen and heard, we have ourselves, we have our own unconditional love, the best love, self love! We know we cant seek from others what we don't give to ourselves, we know now it all comes from within. Any judgements are self judgements, any projections are our inner undealt with pain. We know all of this and together with love, we will find a way through. With that internal core knowing that LOVE is the answer and it starts with thyself, internally first!
Now ive seen and heard her she dips back and feels comforted, her abandonment wounds feel healed and she finally feels seen and heard. She promises to visit in times of play and creativity, to help assist me with my journey. To show me how to be less serious, to create more fun and be more silly. Together we work in unity and harmony and we balance out the tides of life together.
She reminds me not to forget when we “grow up” there is a child in us needing to be heard and wanting to come out and assist us in finding our playful self, in showing us the way of innocence.
I thank her for showing up even though the experience was painful, through the hurt, the pain and the dark days, together we see the light! The light of who we are, who our souls are and what we’ve come here to achieve, to live, to enjoy!